I’ve never been a hater, really. Some of my old friends from school still remember me as “the neutral girl” who was never taking side in any conflict. I just thought it was silly to choose between two people you love when none of them had hurt your feelings.
So as long as I can remember, I’ve never felt like hating someone (even the few ones who did hurt my feelings, you know). But if I had to hate some kind of people in the world, the list – which would be quite long I have to say – would start with the ones who always think they can find a solution to all your problems without even asking you if you feel like it is actually a problem for you.
You start talking a bit about you, maybe just to share your experiences or your thoughts. Sometimes you don’t even think about anything else but telling some funny stories that happened to you, just to make the conversation and then, coming from nowhere, they suddenly start to find ways to fix your life.
And curiously, that’s something that comes off way more often when it happens that, by chance, you’re single and almost (or already) in your 30’s.
Let’s be honest, we all know that most of them have only our best interests at heart and that only a few are actually trying to make us feel bad about ourself and our condition. But still, sometimes, you can’t help feeling a bit… puzzled by their suggestions.
So, here is my top 5
Number 1. “So you always have been the one who broke up, haven’t you? Maybe you should find someone and get dump, just to know how it feels and then you’ll be able to love again !”.
Yeah, going for a dickhead who’s gonna break my heart is certainly the best way for me to find an healthy relationship. Maybe I should even start with murderers and rapists, just to be sure I get really hurt, you know ? Like… to death !
Number 2. “You know your problem is that you’re probably too smart and too independent. That’s not surprising that people get scared. Maybe you just should pretend you’re a bit… dumb, you know. Just for the first dates, you see?”.
Pretending to be someone I am not ? Why haven’t I thought of that before ? That’s probably the best way to find somebody to love and start a relationship with, indeed ! Maybe I can also pretend I want two dozen of kids, a lovely cottage in a small village lost in the middle of nowhere, 5 dogs, 6 cats and a lobster, while we’re at it (I let you find which part is actually true in this fake dream life of mine) !
Number 3. “Have you ever thought that maybe you were just a bit too selective ? How can you really know that all these people weren’t good for you ? Maybe you should just start dating everybody who’s not ugly and see what happens !”.
Maybe I should also start dating people of my own sex, or Ninjas, or Turtles, or Ninja Turtles, in the spirit of “What if…?”. Don’t you think that living in the sewerage system and eating pizzas all day would be awesome ? Would be the life I’ve always dreamt of, for sure !
Number 4. “I don’t get it, you still look good, why can’t you find anyone ? Maybe you should start new activities, you know, to meet new people and so on… !”.
Well, maybe you should start adding some hours in a day first cause if you don’t, I’m not sure that between my 45 work activities, my 1001 hobbys, the few sports I find time to do and my social life (with 800 friends on Facebook, maintaining friendships is a lot of work, you know!), I would barely find time to start some kind of speed knitting or bingo dating activities. Not that I’m not into it. It’s just that, you know, some physical concepts seem hard to change. Just saying…
Number 5. “You know what ? You should just do nothing but wait until the one (and only one) finds you. And it probably comes when you least expect it ! You shouldn’t worry about that, anyway… !”.
That… Or convert to every single religion and start praying every god and goddess to send me the ONE (and the only) but also feng shui my bedroom and help old ladies to cross the street, just in case, you know, to boost my karma !
Now it’s your turn ! Just tell us what was the dumbest advice you’ve ever received ?